


For My Eyes Only

by RonRos47



Category: One Tree Hill
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:50:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17444597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonRos47/pseuds/RonRos47
Summary: Prequel to "Kissing Me, Kissing You".  Peyton tries to deal, while also trying not to deal about the feelings she has about a certain someone.





	For My Eyes Only

**Author's Note:**

> short. Peyton's feelings.

(these two lines from 'Kissing Me, Kissing You')

“I’ve just got one more question: Anna is the only girl you’ve ever liked right, you haven’t liked anyone else?”

“The only one,” Peyton lied.

_______________________________________

 

Peyton thought to some time back. Before her conversation with Brooke. Before dating Anna.

She stood there in her short blue and white cheerleaders outfit. The shirt ran to just above her knees revealing those soft legs. A pompom raised in one hand just above her head, another near her arm. pure perfection. The Ravens were playing a rival team not that she cared much, not tonight. All that she cared about was her. Pure perfection. 

Brooke Davis smiled at her. she smiled back. she did her best to follow the routine but it was hard. Brooke was distracting but in a good way. 

"What was with you tonight," Brooke asked after the game.

"Nothing," Peyton replied.

"Didn't seem like anything."  
“Brooke would you just drop it? I'm sorry,” she said shaking her head, “I’ve just have a couple essays I need to write later so I'm gonna be up all night."

“Okay. you sure that's all it is?”

“Yeah, promise.”

“Okay.”

__________________________

Back in her home in her room room, grateful to be out of her cheerleading outfit, she tossed herself on her bed.

She'd wanted to tell Brooke everything: how she felt the way she stared tonight, how she couldn't stop thinking of her and how she thought of her as more than just a best friend. As much as she wanted to say all those things she knew she couldn't. She knew she shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts at all. 

She couldn't help it though. Brooke Davis had been her best friend for years. They would sit under the main bridge near town, they would have sleep overs, they would have fun down by the beach where they were clad in their bikinis. Peyton would find herself starring but not so much as for Brooke to notice. The way she laughed made her laugh too. she was an excellent listener. Whenever Peyton had a problem Brooke was always there to lend an open ear or offer advice, even if it was the kind of advice you didn't want to hear. They had their differences but that's what made them a good team too. And like any best friends they certainly had their fights and disagreements. Mainly about boys. 

There it was. Boys. Sure Peyton had been thinking about Brooke but it meant nothing. It was supposed to mean nothing. Nathan. Lucas. Jake. Guys before them in junior high. She was straight. Her track record proved it.

Then why she wondered was Brooke the exception? Because she was her best friend that was why. That's all it was. That's all it could be. right?

Didn't some girls experiment? Not that she would ever experiment with Brooke but it was possible right? No, not right Peyton told herself. Not right at all. At least not for her. She was okay if girls liked girls. She was cool with it. She just couldn't like girls. It wasn't her thing. And still she could not stop herself from thinking about her best friend in the kind of way the way she liked guys. 

And then there was Brooke herself, the Brooke she now knew, the one she’d just left from a school basketball game with. What would she think, what would she say if she knew Peyton was into her? No Peyton corrected. She was not into Brooke. Regardless what would Brooke think? Did it even matter? Of course it mattered. Her best friend, therefore her she mattered, therefore her words mattered. Brooke would flip out. They'd never really talked about girls liking girls, it was something that just wasn't brought up because it didn't need to be. If Brooke found out about her crush then it could ruin everything and was their friendship really worth that much, enough to end things, If Peyton even so much as broached the subject? No she answered. Then why was this hitting her so hard? 

Peyton sighed. it was because she did have feelings for her. Feelings that went beyond the kind of platonic love friends normally had. Feelings normally reserved for guys. 

What bothered her most about these thoughts was that it hadn't been the first time. She'd had them before and that scared her. 

Did these thoughts make her gay? Did they make her bi? She wasn't sure. 

No Peyton thought again. She couldn't do this anymore. She had to put an end to these thoughts and she had to do it now. 

Peyton got up from her bed and went to her wall of endless albums. Surely there had to be one she needed. 

She found it and then put it on her record player. She let the music drown out the noise in her head and it worked. 

For now.


End file.
